Author Archives: Mr. Trainer (TM01)

About Mr. Trainer (TM01)

I'm want to be the best. Like no one ever was. Obtaining them is my real test, training is my cause. I'll travel everywhere, and search far and wide. I must understand the power that's inside.

Call To Ministry Statement.

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Thoughts from the bong: Men

Knocked Over By A Feather

For a short time, I hated men.

I hated them so much that I bought a key chain at the dollar store that said:

Oh yeah, I was plenty honked off.

I had much to pull from by the age of 27, thanks to having attracted a bunch of asshats my entire courting life. Not one of them, from my first real boyfriend to my daughters biological father, had treated me with respect.

Um, sock it to me.

My father had been a good man. He treated my mother like the alpha that she is. He was a continuous role model for us kids growing up. He was always polite, full of etiquette, and besides the occasional gaseous explosion, had impeccable manners.

(This is why I can act like a lady when need be. How do you do? See?)

The day I left my ex, I swore to myself that I would never let…

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My Inner Fish

Earful of Cider

Jane was away at Concordia Language Camp from Thursday morning to Sunday night,* and while I haven’t heard the whole story about her trip, I know Sunny had a blast being the Only Child and Sole Wielder of the Remote.**

Her favorite show during this time was the first part of a PBS special called “Your Inner Fish,” which is based on a book by the same name and basically shows all of the clues and evidence that modern humans evolved from fish, or at least the fish who managed to drag itself out of the water on its flippers and breed feet out of them.***

bubble-guppiesAfter the first five minutes, I said, “”Honey? Are you sure you want to watch this? Bubbleguppies is on.”

“Shhhh, Mommy,” she said, staring at her flipper arm as the man on the screen counted off the bone structure.^ “I’m sure.”

And…

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Salon jumps the shark, becomes official secular atheist-bashing site

Why Evolution Is True

I hereby declare the official editorial policy of Salon to involve atheist-bashing, especially in the form of  the “I-am-better-than-everyone” stance so effectively portrayed in this famous xkcd cartoon on atheists:

atheists

And if a picture’s worth a thousand words, than the picture above is worth the 1,666 (!) words of Andrew O’Hehir’s new piece in Salon, “America: stupidly stuck between religion and science.” O’Hehir’s piece says absolutely nothing new, but simply reiterates the idea that fundamentalism is dumb, but not all religion is fundamentalism, that the New Atheists like Dawkins and Harris attack religion as if it were fundamentalism, and therefore they’re dumb too. Have you heard that one lately? O’Hehir’s looking for some kind of middle ground between science and religion, but, bizarrely, admits in the end that it doesn’t seem to exist. I wonder why that is?

Here, in words, is the supercilious first paragraph of O’Hehir’s piece, which could serve as…

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Easter Island

The Finch and Pea

EasterIslandHead On Easter Sunday, 1722, Dutch explorer Jacob Roggeveen came across a small island in the Pacific Ocean with about 2000-3000 inhabitants. Considering the date, he named the Island “Easter Island”, but its local name is Rapa Nui.

The Rapa Nui population of Easter Island was already in decline at this point, and continued to decline further until an all time low of just over a hundred people in 1877.

A classic theory that explains the population decline involves the massive statues found all over the island. The Easter Island heads, or moai, were carved from volcanic stone between approximately the year 1100 and 1650. This coincides with the time during which, according to paleobotanists, Easter Island went from being heavily forested to completely treeless, which led to the idea that the population used up all the trees in carving and transporting these giant statues. Thanks to this theory, the historic…

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